I have ethernet plugged into my 486 and it takes about 10s or so before the page is usable on both the Java and Perl sites. Close to 15-20s before it finishes loading. The images are over https so they end up causing the browser to spin and eventually fail to load them which also hurts the loading times.
I'm guessing the slow chugging of the computer masks the crazy slow response time of the Koyeb site.
So there we go. The Perl site hosted on Koyeb is as slow as loading the page on a 50MHz 486 in Windows 3.11. Nice.